Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
