is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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