I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
