What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
