My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
