went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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