I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
