TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
