I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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