If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
