Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
