You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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