Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
