For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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