is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
