I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
