did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
