She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
