the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
