Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
