PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
