ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
