I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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