Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
