the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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