Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
