dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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