I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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