Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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