I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
