just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
