I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
