i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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