i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Damn victory sex feels great
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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