So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
