Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
