Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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