You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
