Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
