This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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