If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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