super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
