The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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