I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
