I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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