Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize