okay pat passed out under dana's car
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
