If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
