Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
