I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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