I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
