I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
