Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
