Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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