i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dicks are not precious.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
